


run away

by craevitae



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: First Meetings, M/M, Trainee Life, help why do i have a lot of first meetings fics, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24473092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/craevitae/pseuds/craevitae
Summary: serim wanted to run away; and he's glad that he did. it turned out to be the best decision he made in his entire life.
Relationships: Allen Ma/Park Serim
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	run away

serim has wanted to run away for the longest time now.

sure, serim is from a wealthy, famous family; with his parents being the head of the famous hospital in seoul, with his aunts and uncles are renowned professors in famous universities like seoul national university, and even his cousins graduated in the said university; holding a medical degree.

serim was thankful for his lifestyle; he knows that he is privileged as he can have everything he needs... but not everything he wants.

he wanted to go the exact opposite career path that his parents wanted him to; he didn’t want to be a doctor, or anything related to hospitals. due to an accident he had when he was young, he considered hospitals to be a terrifying place. he woke up there, the white walls seemed endless; remembering it was a nightmare. the smell of antibiotics still lingers sometimes; and it never fails to distress him.

serim wanted to be a dancer. a singer; to debut as an idol. he didn’t even know when he started to have this dream; before that, he wanted to study law. his parents wanted him to study medicine, but if it doesn’t work out then he should at least study law and become a lawyer. 

while studying, he has fallen into a loop of various kpop songs. at first, he relaxed while listening; so study sessions weren’t that hard to pass by. however, day by day; he finds himself singing and rapping to the songs he really liked and played on repeat. needless to say, he enjoyed it. it felt like a burning passion in his heart was activated. he felt… alive.

he felt like he was actually a living person.

he knew that this career path would cause ruckus within his parents, so he kept it a secret. he still studied well; during his breaks, he would learn to dance to some choreographies and even produce his own songs, write his own lyrics, freestyle dance, and record them. whenever his parents caught him doing those, he will always say the excuse ‘i’m just relieving stress.’

he felt so… ashamed. ashamed that he had to hide his new profound dream. the career he truly liked.

he has filmed videos of him dancing with a mask and a bucket hat so no one can recognize him, and his videos actually got tons of views. whenever he went out, he would actually get street-casted, and he would always keep their business cards in his bag, saying that he’ll come by the company someday.

he hasn’t contacted any company yet.

he has the opportunity right in front of him, but he can’t grasp it. not now, at least.

at some point, he felt really confident. confident to tell his family that he has decided on his dream. he felt confident that he can ‘rebel’ against his parents.

he only felt.

once he told his parents about it, all he received was shouts of how useless he is. on how all the money they spent for him was useless. how the idol career path will ruin the reputation the whole family line has. they shouted that being an idol will result in him starting university late, and if his group ever disbands; he wouldn’t have anything to do right after.

to sum it up, they said that the entertainment industry was fucking trash and a disgrace to the family line.

serim sighed heavily when he reached his room. he sat down; resting his back to the door and fiddled with his fingers. serim wasn’t the type to cry easily; with all of the stress he has to deal with till now, you can say that he actually has a strong mentality. however, this is the first time he actually voiced his opinions to his parents. getting a reaction like that… broke down the walls he worked so hard for to build.

serim wanted to run away.

this place he calls house; not home, was eating him alive. he could feel every negative emotion filling up his thoughts, as he clutches on his own chest; trying to calm his breathing.

serim did a lot of first times that day.

he jumped out of his own window; which wasn’t really a problem for him because he’s fit. he knew his parents wouldn’t allow him to go out because of the events that happened earlier. he just… needed to escape.

he needed to escape reality.

he doesn’t know where to go; he just knew that he needed to be somewhere that didn’t remind him of his parents. he needed to be somewhere that reminded him of who he really was.

somehow, he ended up in a vacant dance studio he goes to sometimes after class. he has attended a few dance classes there, which actually fired up his passion for dancing.

he paid for the fee, and he went inside the dance studio. he was told that the maximum of people per studio was 2; but he doubted that anyone would still use it at this time, as it’s 2am.

at first, he didn’t even know if he wanted to dance or just contemplate his future. if he wanted to make himself happy or make his parents happy. if he wanted to be a disgrace or if he wanted to be someone that his parents would be proud of.

if he wanted to be himself or if he wanted to be someone else.

he didn’t realized that he was crying; at first, a tear just escaped from his eyes, then he sniffled, and is now a crying mess. he curled himself to a ball; hugging his legs and burying his face on his knees. 

he also didn’t notice someone going in the studio.

“oh…” he heard a soft gasp, as he lifted his head. in front of him was a man possibly around his age, and seemed like a foreigner.

“i’m sorry, training must be hard…” the guy said, as serim wiped his tears and sat up properly.

“i’m not… a trainee…” he said, as the guy apologizes profusely. “oh my god, i’m sorry again; i thought you’re one since trainees usually come by the studio at this hour.” 

“are you a trainee?” serim asked, suddenly curious at the seemingly innocent boy. the latter blinked, and slowly nodded. “yeah… i’m a trainee. at starship.” 

serim then remembered that the latest business card he got was from starship, but he dismissed the fact. “how is it?”

“how is… what?” the latter asked.

“being a trainee…” serim exhaled. the other boy sat down comfortably, feeling that this was going to be a long conversation.

“hmm… it’s rewarding and tiring.” the trainee smiled. “rewarding since efforts will really pay you back. tiring because it’s hard to make an effort.”

“how did you auditioned?” serim asked. “i’m sorry if i’m being too nosy, i just… i want to know.”

“it’s fine. seems like you want to audition, so i’ll tell you my story.” the boy laughed. “i’m from america, so i had to audition online. i just filled a form, applied for dance so i sent in videos, and waited anxiously for weeks to get a reply from starship. and i did. i got accepted, and flew here to go through another round of auditions. i almost got cut off, but i’m glad i didn’t.” he smiled.

“it’s been about a year now since i auditioned. starship has no plans to debut a boy group yet, so i’m just waiting.” serim nodded at the boy’s statement.

“you know, the scariest thing a trainee does is not perfecting skills, but waiting.” the boy said after a long moment of deafening silence. “once they see you not having that ‘spark’ you had when you first auditioned, they can just cut you off. they don’t care how much time you spent in the company. just because you’re a trainee doesn’t mean that you get to debut. maybe you have talents, but not the star factor.” the boy trailed. “there’s still tons of factors that you have to consider when being a trainee. you can’t contact your friends often, you have to keep a lot of secrets, you have to stay away from your family, education is pretty much a blur… and you have to commit everything to your training. technically, be a robot.” 

“i’d rather be a robot who dances mindlessly than a robot who gets controlled by a third party.” serim said, which made the boy look at him in confusion, but then awed.

“your parents are against it, huh…” the boy said, as serim slowly nodded; not even bothering to ask how he knew.

“you know, in a way, training is a waste of time. it takes away your childhood, your teenage years…” the latter looked down. “training life is useless once you leave the company, once you fail to debut. if that’s the mindset of your parents, i get where they’re coming from.” serim sighed.

“however, they should be supporting you. being an idol is such a cool profession! imagine inspiring strangers all around the world. imagine singing and dancing to your heart’s content. it wouldn’t even feel like a job, it would feel like a hobby. imagine being someone’s reason to look forward to each day. it’s not all about singing and dancing and being a role model, it’s much more than that.” the latter smiled. 

serim didn’t know how to respond. the enthusiasm radiated from the starship trainee; it was exactly the opposite of his vibe. he didn’t want to bring down the mood, but he did anyways.

“it’s too much of a risk. i don’t want to be a disgrace to my family. i have… a very famous bloodline, i guess…” serim trailed.

“like i told you, being an idol isn’t even near being a disgrace. you mean something to people all around the world. you’re being an influencer. that’s fascinating.” the boy said. “besides, taking risks is a part of life. if it succeeds, then it’s good! if it doesn’t, well, at least you tried. you won't have any regrets.”

the trainee suddenly laughed, which made serim look at him again. “i just realized i’ve been blabbering about being a trainee without even introducing myself. i’m allen ma. you?”

“park serim.” serim said, as allen took his hand and did a handshake. “nice meeting you, future idol.”

“future idol…” serim trailed. 

“did you ran away from home?” allen asked, as serim nodded. “how..?”

“how did i know?” allen laughed. “that’s the only possible reason i could think of why you ended up here since you’re not a trainee.”

serim was about to ask something. something that will change his whole life.

and he was glad that he did.

“could you… accompany me to the auditions?” serim asked shyly, after a long moment of contemplating. allen’s smile widened.

“i’ve been waiting for you to ask that.” allen made the both of them stand up. “well, i have to check your skills first. ready to have a dance battle?”

serim smirked. “you’re on.”

-

time has passed, and the roller coaster was about to end. serim ended up auditioning to starship with allen’s help, and he even managed to convince his parents on choosing this career path; as long as he’s successful.

the training period was still hard, with him reaching 2 years and allen reaching 3. now, he met his team; cravity. serim was even hailed to be the leader, and also landing as the main rapper and lead dancer. allen became the main dancer and lead rapper respectively.

they were now backstage; preparing for their debut showcase. it was a bittersweet event; serim was obviously nervous. he has been waiting for this moment in his entire life.

allen sensed that serim was overthinking, so he lightly tapped his shoulder, letting serim break the chain of his own thoughts.

“why are you thinking so hard? are you thinking of running away again?” allen said, as serim laughed at the memory of how everything started.

“of course not. i’ve been waiting… we’ve been waiting.” serim felt so emotional. though he yearned for this moment, he didn’t actually think that he’ll achieve it.

serim looked at the latter when allen intertwined his hand with his. “i’m proud of you.”

serim smiled, squeezing allen’s hand slightly. “i’m proud of you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> i just found some 'aesthetic' words on tumblr, and i wanted to make a fic on every word there so here is the first one for that list which is drapetomania; an overwhelming urge to run away, and thats how i got to work on this plot! it might be a little rushed but i didn't know how to end this rip hfbcjfj follow me on twitter @craevitae !!


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